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rips iMessage out of phone
grabs gas can
douses iMessage
douses Earth
douses entire solar system
burns it all down
gets a glass of whiskey
(I had to send the messages that actually got through from a different device. This has happened to me at least once every week or two for the last couple years. No rhyme, no reason. I’m done.)
  • rips iMessage out of phone
  • grabs gas can
  • douses iMessage
  • douses Earth
  • douses entire solar system
  • burns it all down
  • gets a glass of whiskey

(I had to send the messages that actually got through from a different device. This has happened to me at least once every week or two for the last couple years. No rhyme, no reason. I’m done.)